What should I do if I feel broken?
Life is full of ups and downs. Unfortunately we can't always be happy and on top of the world, and even people that may look like they have the perfect life will still sometimes experience sadness and the blues resulting in feeling broken. This is natural and often we are experiencing emotions in response to events in our lives, and when things change we are soon feeling on the up again. However, sometimes life becomes overwhelming. We can be pushed to our absolute limit and it may seem like only bad things are happening to us, sometimes one after the other. We may start feeling very low, sinking into feelings of despair, whilst watching others on social media can make it seem as though nobody else is struggling, leaving us feeling very isolated and alone.
It's important to remember that you are not alone.
Everybody feels like this from time to time and feeling broken or overwhelmed is nothing to be ashamed of. Importantly, you are not broken, you are human being on planet earth experiencing suffering as part of life. Humans are social creatures, we need connection with others to feel happy and fulfilled and it is especially important for us to reach out when life feels like it has become too much for us to bear alone. It may have started with a relationship break up, loss of a job or feeling the pressure to be perfect, whatever it is we can often find that we start focusing on the bad things and fail to notice the positives. This can lead to a negative outlook that spirals out of control, leaving us feeling worse and worse with no idea how to overcome these feelings.
Speaking to someone else about how you feel can often help as they will be able to provide an outside perspective on your problems, and remind you of the good things in your life. Sometimes it is enough to speak to your friends and family and they can provide you with the support you need. Not everybody is lucky enough to have supportive friends and family however. Even when our friends & family appear to be supportive they can sometimes complicate matters by pushing us in directions that are important to them rather than listening to us. They often give well meaning advice that can make us feel even worse, and unintentionally project their own issues on to us which can make it difficult to understand our own emotions and internal world. If you recognise this in your friends and family's behaviour, don't feel guilty about not wanting to share your feelings with them as it is important for us to protect ourselves and implement boundaries with others in order to do this.
Reaching out and connecting with another human is still hugely important though and it may be that feeling 'broken' is what leads you to therapy. A therapist will provide a safe and nurturing space, free from judgement, where you can explore your emotions and the circumstances that have lead to you feeling like this. The therapist does not know you personally and therefore they can provide an outside perspective to help you reframe things and see them in a different light. This can be enormously helpful and healing. The therapist uses their knowledge of human emotions and psychology to help you move forward and to create goals together that fit with your journey and your life.
It's important to remember that if you are feeling 'broken' the first steps to healing are admitting your true feelings to yourself. Suppressing emotions leads to a build up and often causes explosions of feeling that can cause us to lash out as a way of expressing our pain, often causing more damage. There is no shame in feeling the way you feel and pretending you don't does not make the hurt go away but actually intensifies the emotion. So breathe, acknowledge your pain and sadness and know that this is only temporary, you will feel better again one day.
I am an Integrative Therapist who works remotely online with millennials who are anxious, lost, stressed or depressed. I work collaboratively with people to support them in their emotional wellbeing, to develop skills in self-care and to foster a deeper understanding of themselves.
If you are feeling 'broken' and would like to find out how I can help, please book
a free consultation to see if we are well suited to work together.
Alternatively, please come connect with me over on Instagram - I would love to get to know you further.
NOTE: If you are feeling desperate or experiencing suicidal thoughts do not delay in contacting someone and asking for help. Please call your GP, mental health team if you have one or the Samaritans 24 hour helpline listed below.
For further information visit NHS page.
The Samaritans Call 116 123